Culture Cue: When in India: Frowned upon - PDA!

Posted April 17th, 2007 by CWright

The Kiss.
Whatever you do, don't do a Richare Gere.

I don't know how far back it dates, be it simply several generations or centuries, but men and women in India have lived fairly segregated lives with limited, even regulated mixing. This behavior can be observed at parties where men and women tend to congregate at opposite corners of the room. Most men will not sit next to a woman, even if he is married to her, but most especially if she is a stranger.

Whilst you may see some Public Displays of Affection, especially in larger cities, generally speaking, it is not worth the trouble. Last year, I was in Chennai when a new law was passed due to some celebrity having been photographed by a telephone and sent to the press. She had been kissed while dancing, maybe with a drink in her hand. There was talk of closing down the discos, but I'll have to research the story for accuracy. Sorry to be so vague but these stories happen frequently and the ensuing restrictions of varying degree.

Our parents learned that men should never offer to shake hands with a woman unless she extended her hand first. I suspect that this has been gradually jettisoned with more women in the workplace. However, when traveling in unknown cultures, I would exhort men to refrain from touching women even in a business-like manner. It may unknowingly offend some. Unless the woman extends her hand first, in which case it would be quite proper.

There are many other ways to greet. A nod or a bow (although this is wrought with danger in Japan where the reverential level to bend is subtle and learned from childhood, and difficult to master.) I like the Indian way- the namaste- where you place your hands together, fingers pointing up, and bow forward with head slightly inclined. It is trouble free, respectful, and just think how many less colds would be passed around during flu season!

Please remember that America, Americans are considered promiscuous compared to many countries, and try to act accordingly while traveling. Don't foist your easily affectionate ways on the world at large, but honor their tradition and moderate yourself. Save it for the privacy of your hotel room. Or just wait until you return home.