I listen to a podcast series of a British husband conversing in Spanish with his Madrilean wife. In a recent podcast, he said that he found Spaniards to be rude because they do not make a point of saying ‘please’ and ‘thank you’. But before criticizing the entire population of his adopted country, perhaps he could stop and ask before jumping to the conclusion that only those who respond in kind have proper manners.
I can’t speak for Spain, never having lived there. But I do know that here in southern India,it is considered rude to say thank you. When one does something helpful, that good will or good karma accrues to the person, so who benefits in the end? When someone says thank you, it erases the good intention of the person helping. Who looks rude now? (This is how it has been explained to me, anyone, {please} correct me if I misunderstood). No words even exist for the concepts of 'please' and 'thank you' in Malayalam except distant approximations.
I remember my very first trip to England and the correction I suffered by a wizened wiseman sitting in his news kiosk. In my most abrupt Americanese, I asked him the time. At first, I thought he hadn’t heard me, as it seemed an eternity before he raised his head to address me. What followed was a stern lecture delivered with a certain amount of superiority: "I know, young lady, that this way of speaking is customary in your country, but here we use ‘please, could you be so kind as to tell me' and ‘thank you very much'".
I sheepishly repeated his formula, but wondered why he hadn't understood that I just didn’t want to take up any more of his time by adding two extra sentences. Was I really rude? To this day, the short formula works just fine in the states, and you will not be considered rude. However, employing the English formula may make you seem either exceedingly charming or like an overly polite time-waster.
To my knowledge, thank you very much (TYVM) or could you be so kind, (CYBSK), hasn’t crossed over to texting either. Another good reason not to deploy or all the more reason to deploy?! You choose.
Oddly enough, the French, who generally don’t agree with anything English, are also sticklers for the longer polite form. Drop it at risk of being totally ignored, and certainly considered rude.
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